So last weekend I asked H if he wanted to come to the corn maze with me and our daughter. He said "sure we can do that". I asked him about it earlier in the week and didn't really get any response. I asked him about it tonight and he said "No. I'm going away this weekend" but he didn't say where. And I didn't ask. Is that the right thing to do?
Yes, saying nothing was the right thing to do. Your therapist and Cadet have both told you to do nothing, and for now that's what you should do. Detach. Let him work it out on his own. Have you read DR yet? Michele talks about GALing in it and one of the techniques is if you're doing something then feel free to invite your spouse along, but phrase it like this: "D and I are going to X, you're welcome to join us if you wish." This takes all the pressure off of him, he's aware that you're going with or without him. And then you act "as if" you don't care whether he goes or not. Regardless of what he does, you're going. Your enjoyment of yourself does not hinge on him being there. That's the way to do it, that's the message you want to send.
Originally Posted By: ForMyHusband
Why does it feel wrong that he is not telling me where he is going (I'm assuming he will be with OW). I'm really sad right now
It feels wrong because it IS wrong. It's rude and disrepectful. But if you're DB'ing then be prepared for a LOT of that kind of treatment, and to handle it all with outward grace and dignity even if you're angry and upset inside. Hey, we never said this would be easy
