Hello AML I have been on the roller coaster for coming up 2 yrs. When things felt like I could go on no more I too thought that I would be better off divorced. It was the only way I could see to find release from how terrible I felt and the confusion H's actions caused in my mind.
I also thought this would show him that I meant business but really divorce was the last thing I wanted. What I really wanted was my marriage back how it had been a long time ago before we stopped looking after and care for each other. I guess before life got in the way and we were younger with less responsibilities.
I don't recommend filing as a way to get your wife to see sense. She isn't in a place, by the sounds of things, to take it that way.
You can't control her feelings for you or about the relationship in any way. You can only control you, your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.
My H is a WAS in the throes of MLC. I know that I can file at any time but I need to be ready emotionally, feel done with the relationship and know in my heart that I did everything I could including working on the behaviours that pushed him away, detaching and know in my heart that I can truly own the decision to take that step.
Just my thoughts Tumbling
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
