ok Snodderly
I have a question. If I am frustrated by lack of changes and rug sweeping how long do I wait? I know I don't want the former marriage. I feel that maybe he should leave and sort things out on his own more and more and then I have a bit of doubt.
So do nothing right?

You got that right about not being able to control him. I feel sort of helpless in the same house with him acting like this. Sleeping in a different room is how I am coping with some of this.

Thanks for your advice.