I had a crazy day today. I was allowed to go into the NICU and meet my friends new baby. He is up to 3 lbs 8 ox. He was born at 3 lbs 2 oz. I only stayed about 15 minutes. I was overwhelmed and didn't want to cry and upset my friend.
I took a photo of my friend, her H and her mom who is also my friend. And my friend said that it was their first family photo. And I just broke up.
Both my boys spent in-patient time as small children with bad asthma. (Is there good asthma?) I don't know what was up with me.
I called my best friend from high school, and she opinioned that because I was a preemie myself that maybe it brought back some sort of super-early memories. I don't know, but I was driving away from the hospital thinking I should have turned around and went to the ER because I was in a full blown panic-attack, chest pains, feeling awful.
I did deep breathing and calmed down. I still feel really weird. I ate my dinner late, because I had zero appetite, but my stomach was growling. I guess I will do some yoga and hope I calm down.
So I guess I need to go see the baby every day. Smile at fear and step on it, right?
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Aw, Wendy, sorry you're having such a bad time. Keep taking it one step at a time. Keep busy. Keep breathing. In five years, all this will be in the past ... we just have to go through it, to get to the other side.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I have been hiding out, due to insane pressure form many sources.
But I want everyone to know I am trying to keep up on their threads. And that however crazy my life becomes, I know things will get better.
I just got 3 hours notice from the real estate agent to show my house. Fortunatly it was still pretty clean from me making it nice for my indigo class Saturday. I sure hope someone comes along soon who finds this house perfect for their needs!
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Good luck with the house showing, Wendy. We're considering selling our house this year too. Hope it goes quickly, but with enough money to put a deposit down on a nice, smaller place.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
How did the house showing go? I hope it sells soon so that you can move into a place of your own.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The showing went well. But I used to be a Realtor and the old saying is: "Buyers are liars." So when someone writes an offer with a decent amount of ernest money I will get excited.
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I want everyone here to know I have much more to say, but am being stalked so am keeping stuff to myself.
I will say that everytime I take my paddleboard out on the water, I feel a little better, a little more like ME. So the GAL plan works.
I got my knee banged hard yesterday. Trying to get out thru a big shore break. Cut, bruised and swollen. Hurts to walk on, so my granddaugthter and I are just chillin'. We need some groceries, I will do lunch and that for my big activity today!
Although I got hurt, I still took my board out and was rewarded by seeing two huge sea turtles. They popped up right in front of me. I thought I had got into some reefs. I had to stop paddling and they dove as I floated over them.
I almost got hurt again bring the board back through the shore break. the ocean grabbed the board away from me and was trying to roll it over me. I jumped back on it and rode it in sideways to the shore. My board is 11' long and 28" wide. Made me feel good!
I hope you are all having great days!
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
