Yes I understand that too - we don't spend anytime together other than dinner. After my son is asleep we don't spend anytime together.
I thank you for your help
My DB coach says that there is still hope because wanting to do all this stuff around the house, has not moved on the divorce walk away spouses do not do work around the house they just leave -- she also says this will take a long time but we have to take babysteps. I can't stand the waiting but I always put up the happy guy she never sees me sweat though I did lose my temper once in the past couple of weeks I have been clean otherwise. Seeing such a kind loving moral person slide like this is so hard. I am having a hard time with the potential infidelity too. I miss ,my wife very much. I wish she would just come back to our bedroom !!! I don't care if we hug kiss or have sex but I still find it hard to sleep without her.
I am going out Friday and Saturday so I should have a nice weekend thanks for all your help Cadet.
Sunny
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Yes they are real - I am the person she fell in love with again and I never felt better about myself I just miss my wife.
Thanks for your help Cadet Me-49 W-41 M-9yrs T-15 6 year old boy She turned 40 and BAZINGA W gave me the ILYBINILWY speech - Oct 2011 next day she came out of it for a month like we were newly weds - Distant and cold from 12/11 to 1/12 I Don't love you at all 2/14/2012 I don't remember a day in my life when I loved you 3/31/2012 I want a divorce Haven't made love since January 2012 Haven't kissed or touched since March 2012 Threatening to call mediator since 6/2012 Still in the same house, separate bedrooms
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
I am doing everything she says to do I still do my chores around the house, still make dinner 3 nights a week - we always spend Sundays together going to church etc.
DB 101 – if something is not working change it. Obviously doing the chores is not working for you. So try something different. I did this dude, made dinner, was pretty much the sole care giver, made breakfast in the morning. All of it was done to GET A DIFFERENT response from my XW. It did not work. If you are going to do things like chores, dinners, etc. Do them IF YOU want to NOT expecting anything from your W.
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"HEY IF WE ARE SEPERATING WHY ARE WE PUTTING IN A NEW KITCHEN AND BATHROOM"
“WE”….right now chance are there is no “WE”. There is HER and YOU are in the way. Personally, you need to step back and think about YOU and the kids! That does not mean be an as*hole to her – nope. It means that you DETACH from her craziness, which trust me, nothing you will be able to do about it.
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She told me not to go dark just be the best husband and father I can be.
I agree with this ^^^…especially the best father piece. So what does the “best husband” mean to YOU? Does best husband mean that you put your needs aside? Does it mean that you sit around feeling like a punching bag? What does it mean to YOU?
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My DB coach says that there is still hope
There is ALWAYS HOPE buddy. HOPE though…IMO, is not based on the actions of someone else.
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she also says this will take a long time but we have to take babysteps
Long time may be an understatement. Are you committed to seeing this through to the end? Don’t post the answer..keep that to yourself – you will need to refer back to it later. So Sunny, aside from your W what else can you tell me about you? What hobbies do you have? What do you do for a living? What dreams and goals to you have for you life?
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
"So Sunny, aside from your W what else can you tell me about you? What hobbies do you have? What do you do for a living? What dreams and goals to you have for you life?"
I work in the financial markets and I also work a tiny part time job in a music store. I am also an aspiring Christian Musician. Hobbies are reading, going to see bands, Bible study, prayer group, collecting guitars, I write Christian songs and I am forming a band right now -- I also love weight lifting and sleeping having a lot of trouble sleeping without my wife in the bed still after 5 months.
Being a devout Christian I only have 2 choices - she can leave me or she can cheat - the hardest thing for me is seeing the sweetest kindest person I ever met turn into this self obsessed monster.
Eric I see you been a member a long time can you tell me what brought you here and your story ??
Thanks for you help --
Sunny
Me-49 W-41 M-9yrs T-15 6 year old boy She turned 40 and BAZINGA W gave me the ILYBINILWY speech - Oct 2011 next day she came out of it for a month like we were newly weds - Distant and cold from 12/11 to 1/12 I Don't love you at all 2/14/2012 I don't remember a day in my life when I loved you 3/31/2012 I want a divorce Haven't made love since January 2012 Haven't kissed or touched since March 2012 Threatening to call mediator since 6/2012 Still in the same house, separate bedrooms The Joy of the Lord is my strength
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
This might be the most horrific thing I have ever read - I especially hate the ending - I didn't realize them not filing or taking action towards divorce is actually part of the plan ! - God help me !!!
