Turns out what I thought was him being concerned and interested was actually him being self serving. He took the opportunity to rummage through everything and take what he wanted.
W was doing that too, drove me crazy. I finally told her she needed to get the rest of what she wanted and quit coming by. She took a day off and moved most of the rest out. She left some things behind and says she needs to come by some time to finish up, but I can't help wondering if it's her way of keeping a foot in the door "just in case", because she's clearly in no hurry to finish.
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He is supposed to come over tonight to basically have a discussion with our kids. Needless to say they are not adjusting well at all. Not at all. I had hoped it would be beneficial for us to talk to them together without anger and explain expectations. I really think at this point it is a mistake and I should cancel.
Your suspicions are probably correct. I would cancel and talk to them yourself. We did the same thing, but I ended up doing all the talking while W sat there like a statue. Why in the world do I have to explain this to the kids when it's all her doing? Frustrating. Months later I continue to talk to the kids about the sitch and reassure them, but they tell me W says nothing at all to them about it.
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I can't explain it, but somehow, yesterday something in my mind changed. I think his nastiness again, caused me to detach more. I actually don't want to see him. At all. I want to avoid him. Perhaps, that is part of my motivation in wanting to tell him not to come. I just don't know.
Sounds like you're frustrated because he came over under false pretenses, and then treating you like dump over the phone didn't help either. Sorry you're going through this, but I think your desire to detach more will help.
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This might sound dumb but the house was a big deal.
Doesn't sound dumb at all! I HATE a cluttered house and when W took all her stuff out I was elated at how much better things looked, LOL! I never realized how much of the clutter was due to her! I pick the house up every day now (kids stuff and dog toys mostly) and it's never looked better. I love coming home to a clean, orderly house every day. It really helps my PMA.
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So that was my update. I'm still just doing my thing. Life IS getting better. I have moments when I am lonely and want to talk to him.
Good to hear you're getting better. I too find myself wanting to talk to W to tell her something, then I remember the sitch. Usually I'll text one of my friends instead.
