Wendylon, thank you, I definitely have up days and down days and the waiting and not knowing where this is all going are my biggest obstacles, it really eats at me sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing quite well and other times just surviving!
Regarding where she is emotionally, that is very confusing to me as well. I haven't been talking to W a whole lot lately because I've mostly gone dim, but it does seem to me like reality may be creeping in on her and she may be realizing that life on her own isn't the utopia she thought it would be. When we talk I usually ask her about work and how things are going in general and I'm hearing her express a lot of frustration. In DB fashion I just tell her things like "that sounds very frustrating, I'm sorry it's not going better." Her whole purpose in leaving was that she didn't think she was "happy" (which she perceived as my fault of course) and it doesn't seem like that's improving any for her. But I've done enough reading on these forums not to expect a sudden awakening on her part, it's going to take months I'm sure.
Williams, thank you for the kind comments I've been figuring out ways to implement some of the DB techniques in relationships with friends and clients too. Not things like going dark of course, but the communication tips in particular work well in many different relationships.
A quick update to my previous post, I spoke with D15 last night and she told me more about the conversation she had with W. As I mentioned, she told her she didn't like it there and wanted to come home (to my place). W told her that she understood and would stand by whatever she wanted to do, and that she didn't want D15 or S9 to be put through any difficulties. D15 let her have it at that point, she said something along the lines of "you left dad and don't even know why, now you're telling me you don't want to put us through anything but that's exactly what you're doing!! You're hurting us!! Why are you doing this to us??" Bless her heart, she just wants answers like the rest of us. I told her I sympathize with her frustrations, but I said "mom is confused and in turmoil right now and she doesn't know why she's doing these things, so she's not going to be able to answer any of your questions because she doesn't know herself. I'm guessing she didn't give you an answer?" She said that she didn't. I told her it's best just to give her room right now and let her sort things out. I had warned W that this was going to be very, very difficult for the kids (I know because I went through it as a kid, W didn't) but W insisted that kids are resilient and can handle anything. I don't know if D15's comments will help clear the fog any or not, but it needed to be said by someone other than me.
I've been figuring out ways to implement some of the DB techniques in relationships with friends and clients too. Not things like going dark of course, but the communication tips in particular work well in many different relationships.