I really think patience is the hardest thing thru this whole process. When we decide to change, we want it to ripple thru everything and everyone immediately. We want results now damn it! But it doesn't work like that....it takes a lot of time.
My W said my changes were to try to save the M, repeatedly, for a long long time. I bet it was 6 months before she even started to consider the fact that they might be real. It was probably 12 months before she started referring to me in the terms "new me" and "old me." Your H might need more time, he might need less, but if it's less, I seriously doubt it will be much less.
On the flip flop, clearly he is confused. He's hurt, he's scared, he's lost. One minute he may latch on to you and the next he may lash out at you. Thru all of it, try to be patient and understanding.
Hang in there...be strong, keep doing what works, and when something doesn't, make a note of it and stop doing it.
