I agree entirely with your feedback, but I need hep reconciling how filling the love tank is not considered pursuing activity. Any thoughts?
Leo's sitch is a bit different than most of us because they're still together and while they have problems, he's in a good position to work on restoring love to the R. It's not as easy for many of us for the reason you mentioned, most of the techniques in 5LL for filling the love tank can also come off as pursuit and that conflicts with the concept of detachment. All I can tell you is what I did in my approach, after reading 5LL my W was still at home and I was not attempting to detach but rather to show her 180's, so I concentrated on her primary language (WoA) but also showed love through the other languages. I knew it wouldn't change her mind about leaving (wasn't enough time), but I wanted to show her this 180 before she was gone so that she would know what is in store if and when she returns. Basically while she was still there I showed her that I am now the loving, caring husband that she said she was missing. But as expected she did still end up leaving and I have detached since then as well as going dim both for my benefit and to give her space. So I am only communicating with her regarding the kids for now.
