Dropping the rope, hope I'm doing the right thing.

[scaredsilly]

thanks, CV. i think you're right, better to talk about this at the beginning of any attempt at R. i don't want to waste any more of my life or have H tell me, later, that it wasn't made clear to him. he also needs time to process it and decide if it's something he can live with.

unbidden, i appreciate your thoughts. i'm trying to think of how the D22 must have suffered during her parent's divorce; how it made her who she is today. i'm trying to forgive her.

however, there comes a time when one has to detach from people who hurt them, especially, when one is as old as i am. H's "kids" are now adults. as adults, they are not given the passes that children get for bad behavior.

i don't want to waste any more time on them.

if i'm not with H, they WILL be irrelevant to who i am and how i act. it's not really possible, though, to be with him and not to have them effect my life. what i want to do, should we R, is to lay out how i will let that happen, how it will be minimal for me, and have that be accepted by my H.

that's one of my items on my list of what i want in a mate: one who will respect my boundaries. i think not having boundaries played a major part in how i got here. it's not something i will go through again. no man, no marriage, is worth that again.