DB Bootcamp - dawnmarie and zig et al

[albamarie]

Thanks zig! I did refine my list and put it on the site.

What I don't like is they way I seem to sway back sometimes after feeling so empowered I feel like such a jelly fish, h can see it too and then he attacks me. I wrote about it on my thread asking for some vets to give advise, I'm pretty lonely over there without much feedback.

I'm not sure what makes me strong one day and less another. I know there are all kinds of factors such as, being sick, hormones, his words or actions, sometimes even just my own thoughts.

Anyways, I am overall better. Winter and holidays will be a challenge as I am sure with a lot of us... not MLC favorite time of yr.

My biggest challenge is myself...I see that, h is not doing anything to me per se, (his words hurt but it's his distorted view) it's the lack of relationship, his anger, the distance, his detachment that drives me mad. But, when I remind myself that I am missing the "ghost of husband past", it's easier to look forward.

Forward to a future without him is even easier than trying for a future with him, that brings on the sadness, because it seem soooooo hopeless. But for now just trying to get through another today.

I have my blanket (quilted it myself), still need friends to come over, at least I go sit, read and relax.

thanks for all your encouraging words!