ok I just feel so bad right now..want to have R talk with her but i know it is not right..I am not Gal at all..stumbling through life right now...need to focus on something different....she does not need me right now...i just wish I knew if I had a chance at getting back together....I feel like that is slipping away......
Leave it alone. She's confused and won't be able to give you a proper answer.
^^^This!
Originally Posted By: 7720
Thanks so much I really needed to hear that...most of my friends just say it is over, divorce her...I need to get strong...the OM is a threat...
That's pretty typical. Many C's will say much the same. This site, Michele's books and her DB coaches are the rare exceptions that push for saving the M.
Quote:
ok I just feel so bad right now..want to have R talk with her but i know it is not right..
You're right, it would be extremely harmful. It will just remind her that you and she are not on the same page. Print out the 34 DB 180 tips and read them constantly to remind yourself what your gameplan is!
Quote:
I am not Gal at all..stumbling through life right now...need to focus on something different....
It's OK, we've all been there. It's a normal part of the process. This would be a good time to reach out to old friends, go shopping, take on a project around the house, work on your car, go for a walk, join a gym, etc. etc. Occupy yourself. It may not work immediately, but it DOES work. I can attest to it!
Quote:
i just wish I knew if I had a chance at getting back together....I feel like that is slipping away......
There's always hope. Dig through the forums and read the reconciliation stories, that's what I do when I feel hope slipping away. There are many inspiring stories here, people that were in far more dire sitches that still reconciled.
well i did talk to her today...i know should stay away but we had a good talk. She said it has been very hard for her..she has been gone 2 months..and she said she is not ready to jump or anything..so I guess that is good....time might be on my side..
I guess i am still in the game...i think the OM is just a friend...I know that might be naive but you can feel these things after 13 years...I just hope when I get the talk it is that she is coming back..She said the girls ask all the time if she is coming back they are really pulling for it...I just hope and pray...hope and pray...I get the girls for the next week...I have to try not to debrief them too much...bad habit of mine...my brain feels like it has been scrambled lately...I am trying to get out and do things mostly things with friends has involved drinking and that is not good.
Just read your sitch. You come across when commenting on my sitch so strong and confident. Read what your advice is to me and start applying that to yourself.
Kevin.
Me-38W-28. M-2 1/2. Together-7 years OM-14/4/12 Told M in trouble-17/4/12 BD-5/6/12 S-5/6/12 ProofOM-17/06/12 Start to change me-31/08/12 EA+PA-14/04/12-now
You haven't offended me. Your like me in many ways. I can read soneone else's sitch and can offer good advice but its not so easy to apply that same kind of advice to my own sitch.
Your a great help to me. You didn't offend me. I might have come across wrongly.
Sorry dude.
Me-38W-28. M-2 1/2. Together-7 years OM-14/4/12 Told M in trouble-17/4/12 BD-5/6/12 S-5/6/12 ProofOM-17/06/12 Start to change me-31/08/12 EA+PA-14/04/12-now
Me-38W-28. M-2 1/2. Together-7 years OM-14/4/12 Told M in trouble-17/4/12 BD-5/6/12 S-5/6/12 ProofOM-17/06/12 Start to change me-31/08/12 EA+PA-14/04/12-now
I am starting to detach finally and I am feeling a lot better about it. It has been hard but now I can see that really it is the only true way out. My W came over for dinner the other night a recomendation of our kids C. And it was good. I don't think I made any mistakes other than I think I drank too much wine. she did too though so I think that is o.k. I tried to talk her into staying on the bed downstairs and not drive but she insisted...made it home but lucky I think.
