Ummm, AS, you had asked me if I think happiness comes from others.
Well it was meant to be rhetorical
Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23
Oh, and AS, if you go back through her old threads which I followed, there was a lot of fighting, actions and reactions. It got pretty bad at times. The dynamic was very unhealthy. I believe eSN will admit that, so what I have to say in regards to what Their r was and how not to fall back into those destructive patterns.
You're right, I haven't seen the older thread, I was basing it on this one. I stand corrected! I'm certainly not condoning acceptance of bad behavior in marriages, marriage problems need to be dealt with and solved. The point I'm trying to make is we cannot obtain happiness from others. It sounds like you agree with that as does ESN, so at least on this we're in agreement. Where we may differ in opinion is I firmly believe that if a marriage is struggling due to one or both spouses behaving badly (short of physical abuse), all effort should be placed in saving the marriage. I believe that if more people understood that their lack of happiness is due to their own struggles and not because of their spouse, that more marriages would be saved. People think that happy, satisfying marriages just happen and they absolutely do not. And they think that if they're not happy, the marriage is the problem and the solution is to abandon it. A happy marriage is hard work, and even then sometimes it falls apart (as in my case). When things fall apart it is not time to abandon the marriage, it is time to roll up your sleeves and get ready for the hardest work you've done in your life.
