Yes, doing things as an individual rather than alone is a much more constructive way to view things!
Dare I say you swerved from Negativity??!?!
((((( )))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Spoke to H twice. Both for kid reasons...was positive enough. I made an attempt to try and share a little of myself in one of the phone calls... A little of bit of my work life ( we have a paralympian bronze medalist coming to visit our school next semester and I am going to be part of the committee to organise a fundraiser while he is here to raise money for our own country's Special Olympic team...really excited).
He responded nicely enough ( thats great). But I was nervous doing this because I felt i was making myself too vulnerable, so I ended the conversation politely and said bye.
I would like to build a friendship but maybe not yet ready.....will see with time.
My feelings are drifting between strong positives, shallow blues and a slight ambivalence. Anyway, I am tired so I shouldn't really rate my feelings right now anyway...need a good night's sleep.
Take care all!
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Busting, friendships after this trauma cannot be built quickly, tiny, tiny baby steps. It is normal to feel vulnerable. Risking in light of damage is a definition of bravery.
Sleep well.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
"Anyway, I like that i am no longer as blindly hopeful with these interactions as I would have been 6 months ago. I feel much more grounded in reality. At least I hope i am!
And i also realized that I am going to be ok. If H proceeds with the D, which for all intents and purposes he plans on doing, i am not going to change. I am not going to go back to being angry, bitter and scared. I may not like it, i may not want it and i may not believe in it, but i will be ok."
this is huge growth! if someone had told you that you would feel this way those 6 months ago, would you have believed them?
i like to think everything is happening as it should. we are put on this earth (my opinion) to learn our lessons. they aren't always easy (in fact, they're friggin' HARD) but we are better people because of them and we treat people better because of them.
hope you are getting the sleep you need.
((()))
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
I can see how these will be very tiny tiny steps...and its hard to take the lead knowing how vulnerable I am in this. So yes, very tiny tiny steps. Actually, I am not making a full effort at this. I am not initiating any calls or anything. Just continuing being upbeat calm and friendly with him. If there is a chance and if I feel like adding a little more to any texts or talks we have about the kids, I may do it. Like I said when I tried the other day, it was very very hard for me.
Hope you are well JustStunned. Thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate them.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I am with you... I believe things happen as they should as well. We make the best choices we can and be the best we can and things will happen as they should.
Thanks SS (((())))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Hi SD- yes sleep really makes a difference in one's perspective!
I am not sure how 'healthy' the picnic is with all of the shots and desert but, it is certainly the place I want to be right now! Lol
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I think I am going through something and getting to the other side. Not sure. Don't want to jump the gun.
But something is happening is bustingville for sure.
I am happy with what and where I am right now. Do I miss H? Yes. But he needs to be happy and do what makes him happy.
I am can now clearly see my journey and my path. I can finally see how this is separate from the path H wants to be on now. I don't now what stage I am at right now ( grieving, denial, acceptance, forgiveness, etc... I don't know). But am doing my best to let myself be carried through it until I get to the other side. No resistance.
((((( )))))
Ps I love this picnic
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
