I agree^^^ but if that's what you want to do and you accept the consequences or can do it with no expectation, then have fun.
This has been a dynamic throughout your sitch here, she seems to come closer, you get your hopes us, she pulls back, you're sad and defeated.
Is that what you want?
Work on yourself and the big issue (which she has told you is the stumbling block in your M) back away from her and maybe, just maybe, she'll take a second look.
Can you cancel the date with her?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss