Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

Just to clarify - the thing with the massage therapist/hooker/whatever happened back in December, way before our bomb. I wanted to see where he'd been the night he walked out.

If he stepped out of the marriage it would not necessarily be a dealbreaker. Part of the reason I'm having such a hard time understanding his pain here is because we don't have the same view about infidelity. But I'm working on seeing it his way, because ultimately it's his view that matters if I want to stay here.

I agree w you Breakdown, there definitely was some holdback around sex from H in our early years. I would guess his thoughts were the same as yours in a way, but also he had a lot of trouble really letting go and being intimate. Intimacy has been a huge problem for us, but like I said, we're more intimate now than ever. He does not realize this.

We had a 20 minute cuddle this am. It was nice. He settled into it but didn't reciprocate.