It's interesting. My H doesn't like flirty. It makes him uncomfortable for some reason. I can't see that working because it never worked when things were good. Any idea why he might not have liked that? Anyway...
I'm not an expert in this area, but I'll share some of my own screwed up thoughts.
One of my W's big complaints over the years was that I wasn't the aggressor when it came to ML. When we finally talked thru it (which only took us 13 years or so ), what we found was that W felt attractive when I pursued, and I didn't pursue because I didn't want W to think that was how I thought of her. I wanted her to understand that who she was was more important than the act of sex. This stemmed from my insecurity and fear of loss. In hindsight, seems pretty dumb, but your H could have something in the back of his head that is similar.
And again, I'm no expert, but maybe what you think is flirty, he doesn't, so maybe it's just a question of figuring out what works. It's a really foreign place for me to go, but I really just try to be fun and happy, and see where it takes me....and maybe that's what you should try. Skip the flirty part for now, at least the intentional part.
), what we found was that W felt attractive when I pursued, and I didn't pursue because I didn't want W to think that was how I thought of her. I wanted her to understand that who she was was more important than the act of sex. This stemmed from my insecurity and fear of loss. In hindsight, seems pretty dumb, but your H could have something in the back of his head that is similar.