A couple of nights later after i discovered those texts on December 5th, 2009, and we were sleeping in bed together, i was massaging her back with gentle careful relaxing strokes to enjoy trying to reconnect physically, she turned around crying and emotionally asked me.....
How can you even want yo touch me? I'm nothing but a Liar, a Cheat and a Whore.
I passionately told her that i do not believe that that is truly the real person that she is inside. I know that is not the real you, Honey. You are torn up by grief over your mom dying and are just lost right now and i will be there for you.
We just layed there together with my arms around her to comfort her the remainder of the night.
This was about 4 months before her lathroscopic surgery when i found her secret 2nd cell phone.
At the end of January, 2010, we had a nice Family outing, going to the Field Museum Of Natural History. During a 3-D movie about dinosaurs, she reached over and held my hand. But i had higher expectations for other parts of the tour. She was walking so fast viewing the exhibits, that i felt that we were so far apart that she didnt want to seem to be together with me.
I mentioned that to her and it really ruined that little bit of progress and effort she put forth to hold my hand earlier during the movie.
Dang, why couldn.t i have been satisfied and accepting of a small baby step of forward progress?
One week later, she started getting real emotional and mad and told me that She Hated Me. I was beyond sad and hurt
The next morning was Sunday and i took our son with me to an early AA meeting before we went to Church.
She called and told me she didn't Hate me, but has deep feelings of anger and resentment.
Oh well. Enough PAST History for the time being.....
Except for, 2 weeks later, she agreed to go to Marriage Counseling together with me.
Ed
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Me, 55 W, 36 T, 10 yrs S-9 M, 8 yrs 1st D-Day, 9-27-2009, With 1st bf, ea/pa 2nd D-Day, 12-5-2009, With her best friends bf, ea/pa W, AA relapse early 2009-Current W moved out 2-16-2012 New OM 5-2012