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"I don't want to give up but really don't see how I can stop her from doing what she has her mind set on."

You don't. You let her fall herself.

"I have made tremendous improvements in myself and my life. I have given her space only to find her starting to date another."

I like how she said she has to do right by her sons and then goes out with someone else.

The main problem is that your family never fully bonded. She naively believed that it would just magically happen. It takes twice the effort to blend a family then starting from scratch.

Why did she leave her first H?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Tinman Offline OP
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She was with her first husband for 18 years. From what she has told me it was a very lonely marriage. She felt constantly put down and she said the physically part of the marriage was never there. She said that was why she was drawn to me because she felt so love and needed. In the end my custody battle with my ex was too my for her to handle. So now she just wants peace for her and her boys.

I said the same thing to her about her starting to see someone else and she said she had no intentions of ever having him meet her boys. I told her i would be willing to date her and keep kids and other drama aside and just try and enjoy eachother. I think she is on the fence about trying that so it would be nice to try and do that and build up the relationship. Her oldest is 16 and he is the one that is most adimante about not having us in thier lives.


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
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Tinman Offline OP
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I should also say that i am to blame when it comes to bondind with her kids. She bonded with mine and i did not put forth the effort to bond with hers. Not that i did not want to but i was so focused on the custody battle i lost sight of what was important. My W and our kids!


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 181
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Tinman Offline OP
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So after our last night together should I tell her I ask her if she would consider dating me or should I just make it the best night ever and then let her go?


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 181
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Tinman Offline OP
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I also thought of inviting her on a trip just the two of us but concerned that might come across as tring to buy her a gift. Thoughts?


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 181
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Tinman Offline OP
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Thoughts?


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 235
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From my angle that looks a lot like persuit...do you really want to do that? Have you given her space and time?


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Tinman Offline OP
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Ao at this point with her proceeding with filing D papers i should guve her more space and time?


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
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To what end?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Tinman Offline OP
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Labug could you elaborate? Please:-)


M-45
W-44
2D - 11&13
2SS - 11&17
Married 10/10/10
Bomb 3/5/12
Moved 5 houses away 4/20/12
Back together 9/12
Seperated 6/13
Divorce Final 11/13/13
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