I don't look for anyone to make me happy, but I'm not going to be happy with someone who is disrespectful to me, treats me badly, constantly fights with me and doesn't respect me. That has nothing to do with me finding my own personal happiness.
Who said it did? This is ESN's thread, my comments are directed at her and apply to her sitch which based on her descriptions do not involve disrespect, constant fighting, etc. Her struggle is more along the lines of deciding whether she can be happy with her currrent spouse versus an imaginary one that would sweep her off her feet and fulfill her wildest dreams. I'm simply making the point to her (and I'm convinced she fully understands it) that her potential happiness is not centered on either of these choices, but on herself. I don't know what your sitch is, but if you're describing it above then that would require a completely different approach. Finding personal happiness has nothing to do with accepting abusive behavior from your spouse.
