Thanks anotherstander it is so nice of you to comment...on my sitch. Yes I don't think she would come back because she is broke. But is it o.k if she comes back because of the kids and it would make them very happy? Maybe not...I love your analogy about the squirrel very fitting. One more quick question..I do like to keep in touch with my D's and call them about every night to tell them good night and see how their day was. They have their own phone so I don't have to bother her but is this too much?
having a hard day today....the other om is killing me...I cant be what he is...he writes poetry, plays music...all I am is dad man a provider...good to my kids...I put so much into that and neglected other things....sigh...
having a hard day today....the other om is killing me...I cant be what he is...he writes poetry, plays music...all I am is dad man a provider...good to my kids...I put so much into that and neglected other things....sigh...
Perhaps the OM cannot be what you are due to his constitution. Don't worry about him, worry about you!
But is it o.k if she comes back because of the kids and it would make them very happy? Maybe not...
The best scenario (and in keeping with DB) is for you to make improvements to yourself- make yourself a better, more fun, more attractive person that she can't stand to pass up on. It is of course beneficial to the kids if she returns, but if you don't address the reasons whe left in the first place she will probably leave again.
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One more quick question..I do like to keep in touch with my D's and call them about every night to tell them good night and see how their day was. They have their own phone so I don't have to bother her but is this too much?
It is absolutely not too much, it's completely appropriate. The concept of detaching applies strictly to your spouse. You should endeavor to tighten the bond between you and your kids though, and it sounds like that's what you're doing.
Originally Posted By: 7720
having a hard day today....the other om is killing me...I cant be what he is...he writes poetry, plays music...all I am is dad man a provider...good to my kids...I put so much into that and neglected other things....sigh...
Your W was attracted to you before she was attracted to him. Think back, what was it about you that attracted her to you? You need to become THAT guy again. Don't make this about the OM, you can't be him but he also can't be you. Get back in touch with the old you that your W fell in love with.
"the other om is killing me...I cant be what he is...he writes poetry, plays music...all I am is dad man a provider...good to my kids...I put so much into that and neglected other things....sigh..."
I agree with AS. What attracted her to you in the first place? Don't put yourself down. Build yourself up.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks so much I really needed to hear that...most of my friends just say it is over, divorce her...I need to get strong...the OM is a threat...or I am making him one...he is called Blue because he is blue a lot..and is a strange dude. I have seen some good signs from her...C recomended that we do dinner one night a week at each house...and spend the holidays together...is that too much? It does give a chance to touch base but hard to go dark with that.
You are making him one. Don't "give" him that power. Be the opposite of his bad traits.
In terms of your future plans with the W, I would suggest you figure out how she's feeling and what she's open to do. With the OM in the picture it's much harder.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Well I called my D-11 today and my W answered the phone and we were talking and she told me about another couple that we are friends with- She said "they are so curious" he wanted to know if it had to do with sex because that has been his problem. and she made a sound like yeah...why is she talking to him and not me? I just don't get it. She then said we will have to hang out with them soon.... I didn't say much at the time but later I sent her a text saying I am a little bit confused about our earlier conversation
