Journaling / update: Day after convo uneventful. Mutually amicable. Fri - I agreed to help her with a bed and what not (we went about 5 mins from the house). On the way back she shared with me that she has been talking with her other sister. She has been politely and directly telling W she needs to deal with her issues if she ever wants happiness. Sounded as if she was speaking from the POV that the M is done. W also added that she's been recalling more traumatic memories re: abuse). I broke a rule and tried to hug her. She felt like a dead fish as she rejected the hug. So anyways, I elected not to go out, but rather stay home and cut grass. Sat - woke up, went for a bike ride. W commented that it was nice for us all to be at home. I agreed despite the weirdness. So I ended up taking S7 to get a scout uniform. In our way, W and D11 found a dog for adoption nearby. I clarified with W that when / if we D, that I get the dog. She agreed. In short, we have a very cute "Biscuit". . Eventually S7 and I returned home. I was getting ready to go to a holistic heatlh fair and then out for the night. W commented that she wished we could have done this kind of thing together. She added that she was confused, an emotional mess, secretly crying all week long. W said she didn't want me to tell her to leave anymore. I reiterated that I will continue to believe that way and say that provided she is dating. She began to cry. "i wish we could erase the past 3 months". I told her we can't, and offered a hug. This time she accepted it and it was well received. Best hug I've had in a long time. Right or wrong it felt good. Sun - she found me outside reading on the deck and sat close to me and talked more wishing things were better. She was a little weepy. Yesterday - everything ok. We each were looking forward to the Castle season oremeire. She sent a friendly / flirty text. Later on it was clear she was in a bad mood b/c of OM. She was nice to me. Today - the argument was something about how she told OM she didn't want to drive 3hrs every other weekend to spend time with him and his kids, when she could be here with ours. Oh, she told me earlier that she didn't want to have to share our kids. She then told me she was making plans for this weekend up here with her friends. Good Peeps imo. Go to work come home and she's still arguing with OM, I think at least. She's emotionally exhausted, per her, but being nice and inviting towards me. A huge thing is that she said she's now interested in ic for herself; and wants my help in finding her a therapist. Yay! I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. I'm trying to remain neutral and steadfast on my path towards a better me. ...and yes, Grattitude list is being made daily, and I'm thinking the impossible.
