We've known this neighbor ("N"), for 3 years. Met them when S8 started kindergarten. They weren't neighbors then. We became friends with them as a couple; H really liked the husband a lot.
The wife is a piece of work. She comes off as very put together, very with it, very calm, very organized, and I would say she actually is that way. She is also tall, skinny and beautiful - a former model, looks an awful lot like Jennifer Garner. To look at her, you'd think she was a snob.
I never had a problem with this woman. She's known around school as a busybody; the kind of person who knows everyone's business and pretends to be everyone's friend. The kind of person who has done all the research on everything. The kind of person who is so involved in making a good impression that she makes a little "living room" at our school's annual campout and hosts other people with cocktails and cheese and whatever. The kind of person who I think puts on a pretty good front but who is actually insecure inside.
We live 2 doors down from her now. The woman who lived in our house before us died and N alerted us to the property. We have a great big yard, unusual for LA, but the home was in dire need of extensive remodeling and repairs. N managed to convince H to buy this home. What a wonderful project it would be. How great it would be for the kids to have a yard and a park across the street. How great the neighborhood is. Blah blah blah. Not to mention the 6 figure debt we incurred doing it. True, it is a grand home, but it was a big stretch for us and it probably contributed a lot to our current situation.
Over the past year, N has also convinced H of a couple other things... to have a party here before we'd moved in, making it incredibly difficult on me.... and has given decorating ideas that H thinks we must do. I think she probably means well, and she does have very good taste, but H thinks she hangs the moon, so N's opinion usually trumps mine.
Have we been invited over there as a family? No. Have we invited them over? Yes. Has she reached out to me AT ALL during this crisis? No. Has she reached out to H? Yes. When one of her kids was sick and the other stayed at school, did she text me to bring the other kid home? No. She texted H, even though I pick the kids up now. She has been obviously disingenous to me about this whole thing, and rude to my mother to boot!
The other women at school see through her too... it's not that she's disliked, it's that she's not genuine and so she has to have parties and things to get "friends." It's kind of gross. She's friendly, but it's obvious she's not coming from much of a real or caring place. She had somewhat of a troubled childhood as far as I know, so I don't hold it against her. But it bothers me that H thinks she's so wonderful. And she does throw a nice party...
So when I got "warned" today to "be careful" around her, it was no surprise. Not sure what that meant really, but I think it means not to trust her.
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
