Though, somehow, I think we're missing the supposition that if we are happy with ourselves, in ourselves, and also respect ourselves, we choose partners that mirror that.
It's just tough for me to know right now whether my relationship with EXbf will be far different from what it was in the past. We're not even two weeks in.
I do know, that I'm not the same person I was back then. I don't know about him. But I'm hoping that we do have love and respect. Without that, yes, I don't think it would work long term.
Having said all that, I am really wary of advice about "being happy with someone" simply b/c I think so much of our culture is so tweaked toward having their love relationships be their everything and put a lot of pressure on whether the person is "making them happy" or unhappy, etc. I don't think that's the purpose of a relationship - if someone is making you happy. Sure, you're happy spending time with them or being together, etc. But that happiness is not *dependent* on them.
And I see a lot of marriages where people are disillusioned and blaming... or angry or unhappy with themselves and blaming others. I was this way in the past. I blamed my ex for more than his share of why I was feeling unhappy.
So now I'm willing to just own my own happiness and see what he brings to my life. If I like it, I'll want more. If it feels draining or exhausting I'll take a look at my expectations of him or what's going on. ... I may need to adjust something. Relationships are also compromise, right? But I think I give a lot of leeway ... I can say more about that later.
