3 years aftet D-Day and i finally registet

[Am I Too Late]

2 weeks ago when she 1st got back in touch with me after an extended time, she had wanted to get together and talk with me. I asked about what? She replied, everything.

She did not follow through to get together to have that talk on the night she said she would.

She changed her mind. Don't bring it up again. If she ever wants to talk then be available and LISTEN. Don't argue, interpret, etc.


Ed
She avoids discussions and has always spoken to her mother about concerns and her mom would give her a reframed scenario with a meaning that wasnt critical. For me to say i will be patient and wait till she is ready rather than extracting the content right away seemed like a 180 to me to try to put her at ease. Ed

I just told her that i wanted her yo know i wasnt avoiding having that discussion. She said, she knew that.

This is why you should never bring these things up. She already knows your position, you don't have to keep reminding her. Constant reminders will be seen as pressure.




Ed. I never sought to ensure her thoughts were heard or to dig further for her feelings, so it was a 1 time clarification to try to make her more comfortable to speak what she wanted to get off her chest and not stuff her feelings like typical, except to her mom. Ed

i plan on waiting for her to contact me again to come watch our son at this Monday nights karate class as she promised.

Get rid of your expectations. Don't wait on her to contact you, assume she won't and go about your life. If she does then fine, but don't expect anything from her for now.



Ed. I expect her to not to show up as she recently went 94 days with only 1 visit with our son. Ed

She just texted me now at 5:46 a.m. to say she was going to take a bath and eat something and that she was exhausted.

I've been awake for 1 1/2 hours already just thinking about the nice loving things she wrote about me and us just 3 months before her mom got sick.

I replied to her text that i was just thinking about her and asked why she was exhausted.

Tell me you didn't reply at 5:47 am! You don't want to leave the impression that you're in bed, phone in hand, waiting for her to contact you day or night. When she texts then take hours to respond. Sometimes don't respond at all. Create mystery. GAL.



Ed. I usually wait a few hours, but this 1st time, right after Saturdays comment seemed like reaching out and she knows i am up early. It was her 1st text that early. Ed.

I am still trying to figure out if she meant anything specific by her comment Saturday morning when we were leaving our sons karate class, when she declined the dinner invitation by saying that things were off to a good start and we should take things sloe for right now.

32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because she is hurting and scared.

Don't try to figure out what she means, because she probably doesn't even know herself. She said "good start" which is a nice baby step, so celebrate that to yourself. Asking her to dinner was clearly too much too soon, so back off of that.

Ed. I 100% agree. I just got caught up on the rare up to now bone possibly being thrown my way. Ed.