An Exercise For Forgiveness

[sage]

Had a very good day yesterday.

Positives:

1. Made a presentation to sr. management that went very well. I felt well-prepared (tho' I did procrastinate on putting the materials together -- arrgh to Sage!) and they were very positive. I also got some homework done so I'm feeling better about that too.

2. Went out to dinner with my dad and stepmom. Also saw my brother afterwards...I haven't spent much time with them over the last year+ and just recently started reconnecting with them over the holidays. It's a big PMA boost to be with them...they are all so happy to be with me again. Reminds me that love comes from many corners of my life if I let it.

3. Didn't get to see h much yesterday but had some very good conversation time...we talked about $$ (which historically has been a control/insecurity/frustration issue) without either of us batting an eye or stressing out. It's interesting...for a LONG time I felt that intimacy in our conversation was lacking...that we couldn't talk about the "hard stuff" and that it would take some grandious gesture to fix that. What it turns out, though, is that it takes minute events...very small connections...a bit more patience here...a calmer response...better listening. It's the teeny, tiny things that add up.

We did the "tell me one good thing and one bad thing" again last night. I think this could be a really great tool for us. The "bad thing" gets articulated in a way that is non-defense-provoking (yes, that is a word) and it just seems to help me get uncomfortable feelings out there. Last night my "bad thing" was that I had felt very judgemental of my stepmother over a particular topic...by expressing it to h in the context of the "bad thing" he knew that it was important to me and he spent a few minutes talking with me about it...I think if I had just brought it up out of the blue, I would have been more hesitant and he may have been less validating/more dismissive.

Do you know what I mean?

Sage