If not, there is a chapter, and I forget which it is that contains a story of a therapist who advises a wife to spend a number of months just loving her husband. To see if her actions would cause him to eventually reciprocate. If I recall correctly, she did it and it worked. I highly suggest that you look at that chapter.
Chapter 12, "Loving the Unlovely". The woman was convinced she could never love her husband again, but her religious convictions were keeping her from walking. She was advised to love her husband for 6 months, it was inspired by the following quote from Jesus about loving those who don't love you:
Quote:
I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. . . . Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even “sinners” love those who love them.
Chapman told her to fill her husband's love tank through his primary love language, but to not expect reciprocation until much later. This meant she's have to initiate love-making (her husband's PLL was physical touch) which she did not want to do at all because she didn't "love" him. But Chapman explained that feelings of love and showing love are two different things, and the idea of 5LL is to show love and the feelings will follow. And sure enough, after a few months her husband started reciprocating in a big way and their marriage completely reversed course and they fell madly in love again. Great story!
YES! THAT one ^^^!
Thanks Stander
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
