Trying to Save my Marriage

[AnotherStander]

I will not ask him about it at all and will continue on as "normal" at home like I didnt even give it to him.

Good. You gave it to him, that's fine, don't worry about it. He probably kept it and he may reread it in the future. There is no need for you to reiterate anything in the letter, just let it all go for now.

I am refraining from texting him during the day (something we have always done even after separation)

Also good, part of detaching and GAL'ing. But don't stop there, really do go out and GAL. I know you don't have DR yet, but you'll know what we mean when you get it and read it. DO NOT share anything in DR with your H. It is strictly for you.

and am compiling things I want to talk to him about so I can try and bring the conversation back.

Yikes. Keep all conversations light and fluffy. Ask him questions, let him talk about whatever he wants and you concentrate on being a great listener.

Since then he has used the line "I love you but I am not in love with you" which I know he is saying because he is hurt.

He is probably saying it because he truly means it. He's not getting back at you, he really doesn't feel like he's "in love" with you right now. Your goal is to change yourself into a person that is so happy and attractive that he'll be drawn to you like a moth to light.

I just read another post called "Sandi2's 37 rules and I can see some of the things I have been doing without really knowing it and now I am scared to death about the letter I wrote??? Was it too soon? Its been a month since H has "left". My therapist recommended I write it but it talks about our future (my positive outlook) now I wonder if that was wrong?
Also, what is 180s? Thanks again.

Don't worry about it, you can't undo it. We all backslide now and then, DR will tell you not to sweat it, just learn from it and redouble your efforts to stay on track in the future. 180's are covered in DR, but basically it's determining what you did wrong in the M and doing the opposite of that, a "180". An example might be if you always nagged him about doing things around the house- "you never take out the trash, why can't you do even a simple little thing like that" and instead just take the trash out yourself and focus on his positive traits- "it's great how you bar-b-que once a week, I really enjoy that!" To attract your H back you need to change what you've been doing, you need to do 180's. And you need to be consistent with them, it'll take a lot of time for him to believe it's real and not just an attempt to get him back.

What happens or what do I do if he doesn't say anything? Were home, I saw the card and pic that was in in his bedroom on the nightstand but no letter this is so hard, I feel awful thinking he threw it out. Maybe it was too soon, but my therapist recommended it. We've talked and chatted but nothing about anything really and my daughter is still up. I'm now petrified he's going to bring it up and tell me its over.

Like I said before, don't expect him to say anything, he probably won't. And you shouldn't either. Just forget it. If he tells you it's over, then your proper response is to validate his feelings. "I understand why you feel that way and I support your decision." You're not agreeing or disagreeing, just validating. It'll diffuse things immediately. DO NOT argue, contradict, justify, explain, etc.

I have soooo many questions, I guess I really do overthink things but wanted to see what people thought about this - my husband and I both have blackberries and we are on each other's contact list, this is how we communicate most of the time (even when things were good). There is a "status" bar at the top of my contact so whenever he is on his bbm he can see my profile pic (which is a pic of my daughter) and then also what I have for my status. Since this all started, I have been putting "inspirational" status' on it. For example, right now it says "Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow".

Would this be considered "pressure"? should I remove it?

Read Sandi's 37 tips again. I think you'd agree after reading them that you should remove it. Quit pursuing, start detaching!