I hope you're feeling ok. It sounds to me like you're on the eve of something big. It does require a lot of thought. Personally, I'd like to do this in person if I had a choice and since she is coming down in a few days to pick up her stuff, that sounds like the prefect time to me (even though you agreed to her terms "easier and as stress-free as possible" of not being there when she does come). Why would you make things easier and stress free for her? She's leaving you and it shouldn't be easy and stress free.
If you are going to go ahead with this (and I'm not suggesting you do)just be there in YOUR home when she comes. Take her by surprise. Take control of YOUR situation. Tell who ever is there with her to go and have a cup of coffee at a nearby cafe (don't give them the choice - it's your home and you should have a right to allow who you want in it)and then ask your W what she is up to.
See where this leads and if you have the opportunity or the need to set a boundary, do it then, in person. Be firm about it. Show strength but also stay loving. Don't give her a reason to hate you (she will probably make some up anyway). Then give her her stuff (which in my opinion you should have ready) and tell her to go.
In this way, you are not letting her dictate what she can do and how she does it on your turf and you are telling her, decisively how you feel about what she is doing with no opportunities for misunderstandings. You are fighting for your marriage and you are showing strength.
JMO
Best of luck mate!
BTW how did she respond to your suggesting that you might have something on Saturday?
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
