I read the DR. I have done a 180; details are that I have picked up considerably on the chores around the house, helping with the kids, I have stopped a lot of my negativity (due to a low grade depression and anxiety problem that I had never had fully diagnosed until all this blew up on me), and have refocused my attention away from work and toward my home. Prior to that, while the affair was still ongoing I did the Last resort technique, with some success, I backed off and went out with friends more, picked up a social life that I had let slide. We are in counseling as noted. But part of the problem still lies in some of her statements of needs. She has said that I did not give her the words of affection or acts of affection that she needed in the past. And now that I am she doesn't seem ready for them. Also an attempt at 180. You are right however, I need to back off, and will continue to try that. Baby steps are what MWD suggests in DR and some of mine were to have her come to me for affection. Open up to me about something personal. And to laugh at some of my jokes again. Baby steps. I have been pushing to hard. And I should be grateful for some of what I have been given. I know that I must have been very close to losing her. It was my own ability to see better then she expected that may have saved my marriage. I caught the affair early and responded by asking her to go to therapy when she expected me to blow up and kick her out.
