Time for an Introduction...and Thanks

[figure-it-out]

Journaling and need advice I guess. Might be long. I apologize in advance.
I think I might have slipped a bit or didn't handle the situation as best I could.
H was supposed to come over yesterday to take S to practice. I got a call from the coach saying practice was canceled. I sent H a text letting him know.
About 20 min later H pulls in. He said he received the text but was almost there. H sits down, talks to kids. He's hanging out a bit so I ask him if he wants to stay for dinner. I assumed he was hanging around as there would be a lot of traffic if he left at that time.
We all had dinner together, laughed, had a good time.
After dinner H makes himself comfortable on the couch and starts watching football. We're still within the traffic time so I don't think much of it.
D leaves for practice at 7. H still there watching football. I think OK, he's waiting for the game to be over. Game over, H still there. I ask him if he's OK, if there's something going on. He says no, he's just hanging out. It's odd, but I'm OK with it. We were talking during the game, general chit chat. D comes home from practice, he's still there.
Long story short, I go upstairs to get ready for bed and H comes up. We ended up ML and he stayed the night. He ended up bringing up a backpack later so he either travels with one all the time (which in the past he has said he always has his backpack with him), or he planned it.
Fast forward to this morning. I get a text from H saying S is up and getting ready for school. I thank him and say S likes to go back to sleep sometimes so I appreciate him making sure he's up.
The following is the text exchange we had:

H: I wanted to talk to you yesterday but couldn't find a way to bring it up. I got an e-mail from the lawyer (mine, he doesn't have one) and the court date now isnt til March 18, 2013.
(Keep in mind, we had a court date last week. H signed off asking for more time, he still has not completed his disclosure paperwork)

M: OK, what did you want to talk about? Why couldn't you bring it up?

H: I don't know why I couldn't bring it up. I don't want to keep taking S to my mom's house. (S goes there on weekends as neither one of my kids know he does not live there anymore)

M: I don't know why either. I don't know what to say though.

H: I know, I wouldn't have brought it up but with the date being 3/18 I will go crazy taking him all teh way up there for at least 6 more months.

M: I don't know, sounds like this might need further discussion. If the only reason is you don't want to driver all that way then I'll find somewhere to go Sat night to Sun. If it's other reasons then I don't know.

H: It's just time. You and D are going to be doing cheer and I'm sure I will be doing stuff like camping and stuff he hasn't been able to be on with me.

M: Time for what? I wouldn't be at teh house anyway if it was about cheer

H: Nevermind, You're not getting it or maybe you are.

M: What am I not getting. If it's important to you then lets discuss it.

H: Its OK, I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere. That's why I didn't bring it up. I am trying to do right by EVERYBODY and I don't want anyone to hurt.

M: Like I said, if it's that important, lets discuss it so everyone is clear. In the end, you're the one who determines wh most needs you to do right by them, someones going to get hurt regardless.

Am I making this too difficult for him? I want it to be difficult. Do I just say OK? I can't sign off on him introducing our kids to GF. If he's going to do it, he's going to do it, but I can't greenlight that. It just feels to me like if he does that then there's no turning back. I know others have been in this situation and it doesn't mean the end, I just feel sick when I think about it.
I want him to tell me it's not just about the drive to his moms, that he sees himself long term with this person. I don't want him dragging our kids through this if it's not. I know what this will do to their hearts. I keep thinking why does he still want to stay at the house, ask me to still be at family events, etc. if he REALLY wants to be with her.
So sorry for the length of this. I'm just spinning this morning. Maybe as the day goes on and I think about it more I will have more clarity. I should have known last night there was something more to it.
I've felt pretty good these past few weeks like I could accept what was happening and was in a good place. I feel really set back.