I don't buy into you can be happy with anyone who doesn't physically abuse you.
Do you think happiness comes from others? It absolutely does not. Happiness is purely our own personal responsibility. Society teaches us that we deserve happiness and that if we feel negative emotions then something is wrong with us and we need to fight those emotions and seek out "happiness". As a result, we're constantly fighting "bad" emotions and seeking "good" emotions. I highly recommend reading "The Happiness Trap", it describes what we've been programmed to believe about being "happy" and why it results in us feeling the opposite- we are always chasing happiness and never find it because we misunderstand what it is and where it comes from. Happiness isn't about only experiencing one certain emotion all the time, it's about understanding that it's normal to feel an entire range of emotions and that you can accept these as normal and understand that they are just emotions and don't affect your perception of life unless you let them. If you are truly happy, you can spend time with someone that's a total jerk and you will still be happy. More often than not your happiness will rub off on them as well.
Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23
Then I could have a happy marriage with the dude next door as long as he doesn't beat me.
LOL! Let me put it to you this way, what is a "happy marriage"? Is it a marriage in which both people are "happy"? What is "happiness" to you? There is a fundamental misunderstanding in society of what "happiness" is. As a result, few people are "happy" with their marriage, their job, their appearance, their children, their car, etc. etc. My point isn't that you can have a happy marriage with your neighbor, it is that if you are truly happy then it doesn't matter whether you're married or not! It doesn't matter who are you married to! Because you cannot "obtain" happiness from others. Read the book if you can, it explains it a lot better than I can
Originally Posted By: ESN
AS, you're speaking my language. YES YES YES to everything you're saying. This is what I'm talking about.
Even down to the OM. He's imaginary. He's not here right now. I'm going to turn away ExBF b/c of someone potential OM who is better for me in the future? .... hmm...
I just love everything you've said. I'm heartened. Thank you!
Great, I'm glad you didnt take it the wrong way Glad to help! Good luck to you!
