An Exercise For Forgiveness

[sage]

Hey all,

Took the day off yesterday to hang with h so I didn't check in...back to work today (blah). Have my first class of the new semester tonight!

Positives:
1. h did AWESOME in his first semester of law school (yup, the grades are in!). He's mentioned a few times lately how my support has had a big impact on him.

2. we spent the day together yesterday -- went to see 2 movies , had breakfast and dinner out, etc. It was a fun, comfortable, loving, intimate, awesome day.

3. h and I have been dealing with a bit of a tense situation with my car...I've been worried about it...not just the sitch but also that h would see my reaction (tense, worried, etc) as "more of the same" -- I've been struggling with trying to let go of the worry but also just wanting things DONE...and trying not to piss h off in the process. Yesterday we were talking about it and I was doing the balancing act of being honest with my feelings w/o being controlling (trying at least!) and in the middle of the conversation h said "I do love you". There's a bit of positive reinforcement that I was doing good, I guess!

4. h asked me yesterday if I had been working on my resume (my job is sucking the life out of me!)....I said "no" and he said that we would work on it together this weekend.

5. h was talking about how we should each buy a fancy present for ourselves when we graduate from our respective degree programs...now that's a year + for me and 3 years+ for him...don't know why but it still gives me a thrill when he talks about the future

6. Halfway through posting these positives I realized that this does make a HUGE difference for me...TBH, I was feeling a bit scared this morning...one of those..."I love him so much I'm afraid" feelings...posting the positives helps me see that each day I have wonderful things going on for me and my h and our m and my life...I swear...I can feel the switch in my brain flipping to "positive" from "fear"!

Sage