For my own purposes I need to re establish my post and ask my question the right way. My W has suggested that she is no longer in love with me and has had an affair with her ex-high school boyfriend. She claims to have ended that affair (three weeks ago) and says that she is here and willing to work on us. We have three kids and a home; Many stable things that need to be tended to. She says that she is giving me everything else, but she claims that she does not have the emotions she needs from me, and can not give me the emotional support I need without her own emotions. Now for me, the only thing I need from my W is emotional support. As far as all other needs, I can get them elsewhere, it is only the emotional needs that have to come from my spouse. She is being a good mother, a good provider, and is good at tending to our home. But that support has never ended, even during the affair, and is about the home and the children, not necessarily me. A part of me still wonders if she is really committed to reconciling our broken marriage or has just stepped away from the ledge of divorce to catch her bearings again. And perhaps because her fantasy relationship with this other guy didn't go as planned. As I spoke to earlier. I have done a 180 and my wife suggests that this is providing part of what she needs. She can not tell me what else I need to do, or even if I can do anything at all. In fact she has confessed her worry that emotions from her may not be possible. Or that it may take months to years to rekindle. We are going to counseling, but that has been slow, and she does not like to discuss our marital problems outside of counseling for any duration of time. Indeed, she is frustrated by my need to talk about it. Plus she feels that I am pressuring her with my affections (something that is not like me) which I have increased after finding out about the affair. I was fine with the amount of affection I was getting from her before, but she has pulled back from that level. And of course has now admitted to me that I was not providing the level of support she needed, which would be apparent from the affair, but which I had been unaware of before.
