Still together but trying to save this

[PeteWyo]

I agree with all of those points and I appreciate your candor, I am actually quite sick of half-truths and people beating around the bush. I have always been a very truthful and direct person, probably to a fault. I guess I misunderstood a previous post by 25yearsmlc asking what 180s I was doing with respect to my wife. I did force that ultimatum before I read DB, I realize that was not probably the thing to do, but it made sense at the time. It is hard to avoid talking about it since everyone keeps asking me about what is going on. I am not intentionally trying to get everyone on my side. Literally everyone is on my side and have been from the beginning since her EA was made public to just about everyone I know, so everyone is trying to comfort me I suppose. She has told me that the reason she didn't come to me with the issues is because she didn't want to fight. She does have a serious conflict avoidance problem that DID affect our marriage in a lot of ways, I have really always known that to some extent. And I should have talked with her about that long ago, so I am just as guilty. That doesn't change anything and it certainly doesn't change the fact that I do have my own issues that I need to work on. I DO want to change for me! I don't want to be in my box anymore, I was in it for far too long! I think about how I acted and the person that I was when I first met my W and I want to be that person again so bad. That is the person that I was for most of my life and I need to get that back.

Thank you for the continued guidance and support, I need it! I can't take on the world alone anymore.

I read a great quote last night that I thought I would share on here, actually it is a bit of a paraphrase of the quote, but it works.

"I am not the man I ought to be, I am not the man I wish to be, and I am not the man I hope to be, but by the grace of God, I am not the man I used to be." - John Newton