He thinks he was like the greatest dad over the last year, and I think he sucked. I don't ever seen him doing anything "above and beyond" just the bare minimum, and I hate that. I absolutely hate that about him.
What are your expectations that he's not meeting? Have you discussed it with him? If not, then you need to and you need to do it in a positive way, not in a nagging way. Don't say "you never do X and I hate that". Instead say "I notice you haven't tried X and I think D would love that, do you think that's something you might be interested in with her?" Remember, if you've never discussed your expectations with him then he has NO CLUE what they are, so when he doesn't meet them you shouldn't be the least bit surprised. We're men, we DO NOT read clues you put in the tea leaves. You have to tell us in plain, clear terms.
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I feel like he acts like a teenager - I can't explain that, but he has this walk, and the way he talks sometimes, and that damn pink car he drives. Drives me nuts.
No offense, but it sounds like you're really reaching to come up with stuff you don't like about him.
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Yes, I always imagined myself with a mature older man who was a MAN - polite, a gentleman, confident, providing. Loving me.
You're in love with an imaginary OM. He doesn't exist. This is very common, men and women both can fall in love with an imaginary OP and throw away their R to pursue something that's not even real.
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In fact, I want another child, and so I don't want a 50-year-old in the end. The younger guys weren't great either. I never found a good match. And I didn't all the years before that. So what am I still holding out for?
You're holding out for someone that's not real. The sooner you realize that then the sooner you'll realize it's a whole lot easier to "love the one you're with".
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My friend said, "I just worry that you're giving up and not going to hold out for the right man for you."
It's "friends" like this that ruin good marriages. They convince you the perfect marriage is right around the corner. A marriage is only as good as the effort you put into it though.
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And then my friend said "I just want you to have the happiness you deserve" What does that mean? A guy is going to do that?
No. You're responsible for your own happiness. Short of a physical abuse situation, you can choose to be happy with darned near anyone... if you're willing to put in the effort.
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I want to be a person whose happiness isn't dependent on who she is with necessarily.
