Wife in MLC? I'm seeking support / guidance

[ForeverYoung]

I recently read Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. My language is clearly physical touch, followed by words of affirmation. I have been struggling to determine my wife’s LL’s. I knew gifts were important to her, as she always excelled at giving me well thought out gifts that were expertly wrapped. She also was devastated the few times I forgot to give her a gift on a special occasion. She even reminded me a few weeks ago that she never missed any of our special occasions. (but was kind enough not to mention the times I forgot)

Last week as I was thinking about this, I stumbled upon a ‘game’ she made for us several years ago. In this game we each received points for performing different household chores. These points could then be redeemed for various forms of physical touch. OMG! She was trying to connect with me via our Love Languages! Back when she came up with this idea I let it drop after a week or so, because keeping track of the points seemed to me to be too much trouble. I don’t think I have to tell you what a mistake I now know this was.

I took over my share of the chores (even more at first) when her Mom passed in December, three months before she dropped the bomb. Even so, it was seen by her as “too little. Too late”.

So Gifts and Acts of Service are her Love Languages.

I mentioned earlier that my wife is out of town for work today and tomorrow, and that I wanted to do something that would surprise her. It has been starting to get cold around here, so I decided to get her some flannel sheets for her bed, and just put them on before she gets home without saying anything. It’s not a big gift, (I know better than to try to buy her love with gifts) and I’m not going to make a big deal about it, but it will show that I do think of her. When she says something about it I will just say I knew it was getting cold and that she would like it.

I also have an opportunity to see how she feels about me and our relationship without asking in about 2 and a half weeks on my birthday. This past June was our 29th anniversary and she gave me nothing, not even a card. If she gives me anything on my B-day I will consider it another positive sign.