Wow, what alot of great advice, thanks so much. I will definitely head out after work in search of the book. My therapist recommended this site but wasn't sure what book I needed, yet. I did give him the letter (I almost cringed when I read when you said don't give it to him) but there was no begging or crying or pleading in it at all. It was a true reflection of what I value in him and our relationship and everything that he has done for our family. I also talked about what our potential future can be like (my positive outlike as my therapist called it). I will not ask him about it at all and will continue on as "normal" at home like I didnt even give it to him. I am refraining from texting him during the day (something we have always done even after separation) and am compiling things I want to talk to him about so I can try and bring the conversation back.
I was the WAW stupidly but I never told him I didnt love him ever. He was still fighting for me right up until the night he met OW (well he already knows her, but they went to a concert together with a group of friends - a concert that my H asked me to go with to him but I stayed home with our daughter). Right up until that night, we shared a bed, laughter, sex and went out together - the week before we went to a wedding together. Since then he has used the line "I love you but I am not in love with you" which I know he is saying because he is hurt.
Thanks for the link on the "going dark", I will have to read that. I miss and love my husband and family very much, am willing to do anything (legal and sane) to bring us back together.
