Yes we did try counseling in the beginning. He went with me a few times and just go more and more frustrated (you did this not me and now you are making me feel like sh*t, his words) until he just said he was not going to go any more. Then I continued for a bit until the counselor said to me that I should just leave him because he is just so Black and White, very unreasonable and unable to show any empathy. I did not like the fact she was pushing her values on me so I decided not to see her anymore. My H and I talked and we deiced to move forward, but he did not want to talk about it anymore, so we did not.
Which brings us to today.
I really do not think just because I am past the A that he should be to, but all I do see is him being negative, and not even trying to make one step forward. I think this is where my frustration is coming in. That was until we had our talk last week and he opened up to me. But what he was asking me to do (be more open to my whereabouts, be more of an open book) seems to counter dick what the DR book is saying.
He is seeing a M counselor who is pro marriage, but again he is feeling frustrated and said he does not want to go back. So I am not sure if he is going to continue or not. He does not even tell me if or when he has an appointment.
As far as the phone call goes. What I said in the post is what I said to him. I have noting to hide, so if he wants to answer my phone go for it......
Trust is a big issue for him. I get that. I understand that. But I guess I just do not know how to show him he can trust me without being an open book.
As for the DR techniques for me mentally have been working for me. I had been obsessing over where he is going, who is he seeing, texting etc. I know he is going to do what he is going to do no matter how I feel about it. But for me, me hiding who I am talking with or GALing..is being perceived as me stepping out again. So I really am not wrapping my head about how to Detach, GAL and be mysterious and gain Trust at the same time.
Any suggestions there I would really appreciate......
