"A Course in Miracles" says "Dream of your brother's kindnesses, instead of dwelling in your dreams on his mistakes. Select his thoughtfulness to dream about instead of counting up the hurts he gave."
1. Regarding the one you are holding a grievance toward, try to remember what has been loving or pleasing about that relationship. Were there times of real enjoyment and satisfaction that you can remember? What qualities does this person possess that you appreciate? What things have they done for you or given you that have contributed to your happiness? Try to list three examples of what has been positive about this relationship. Remember that our predominant thoughts determine our experience and attitude about our world.
2. Think of the annoyances associated with this person and ask yourself these questions: What is the lesson here and how can I use this learning to grow and heal? What is the opportunity here? Write down your answers.
3. Imagine the person you are holding the grievance against as a very young child. Can you get in tough with the infant or child in this person and imagine s/he calling out for love? Imagine yourself giving love and affection to this child. Write down what you come up with.
4. Repeat 1-3 but now in regards to yourself, in reference to the disliked part of you that is represented by the one you hold a grievance towards. In #1, recall things you appreciate and love about yourself. In #2, see your own negative qualities as an opportunity to learn and grow. For #3, imagine yourself as an infant or child calling out for love and then imagine giving yourself that love.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
