1. Consider someone who irritates or angers you or someone you are holding a grievance toward or someone who simply drives you crazy. Write a paragraph describing that person as fully as you can. Be sure to use the adjectives and descriptive phrases that explain what makes the person so irritating.
2. Underline all the adjectives and descritptive phrases you used to describe the person. Using the sentence stem that follows, fill in the blanks with the adjectives and descriptive phrases you chose to describe the person in your paragraph:
I am having <name of person> be the <adjective or descriptive phrase> part of me, the <next adjective or descriptive phrase part of me>, etc.
Repeat this stem until all of the adjectives or descriptive phrases have been included.
3. Consider each adjective or descriptive phrase. Ask yourself the following questions:
What is my awareness of that quality within myself? What is my relationship to that quality in myself? How well developed is that quality in myself? Is it a part of me that used to be apparent but is not anymore? Is it a part of me that has the potential to surface under certain circumstances? Is is a part of me that is either so suppressed or so under-developed that I don't know it's there? Is there a way I am using this other person to carry that quality, refusing to see it in myself? Can I allow myself to acknowledge and open to that qulaity in myself and to soften towards it? Can I accept its presence and commit to working toard an attitude of equanimity and kindness toward this part of myself.
Remember: We often project onto others the parts of ourself we dislike. A Course in Miracles states "You never hate your brother for his sins, but only for your own. Whatever form his sins appear to take, it but obscures the fact that you believe them to be yours." The question then becomes "What is my relationship to that part of myself, to that quality in myself that I see in the other? Can I learn to accept all the parts of my being human?"
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
