Today has been a hard day. Not sure why. My anxiety is pretty intense. I have been sitting not doing much but homework. Perhaps that is why. I haven't heard anything for H. Just as well I guess. Kids and I are doing a puzzle at the moment. I keep reading DR when I get to feeling too discouraged. I am wondering though if there is any point to this. I don't really feel like my marriage is even savable at this point. Not in any format. New or old, and to be honest I'm mad as hell. Really, furious. Not sure if I am going to be able to forgive or get past this. How in the world do you deal with someone who is in their own made up world for the most part? A history and version of events that is so convoluted that it in no way resembles what actually happened. What happens if he does begin to come back around? Do I trust he won't have another meltdown and head out the door again? I just don't think I have it in me to do this again. I sure don't dare run the risk of making my kids go through it again. S14 is really in bad shape. He doesn't understand. How could he really? It's nonsensical. Sigh. I'm super frustrated today. And mad. I said that already though. Sorry for venting here. I am just wondering if I should continue this? If there is any point? At which point do you just let it go? When do you decide you have had enough hurt and cut your losses? I just don't know.
