Still together but trying to save this

[25yearsmlc]

it's great you are getting help for it. And if that's enough help for that specific issue, then AMEN and YAY!

What are the 180s you are doing, vis a vis your wife?

And do you understand (even if you disliked it) what I mean by NOT being in a position where she'd even hear your concerns about HER not doing the work YOU think SHE needs to do? Where she'd interpret them as just more criticism from you and or, more controlling behavior?

I'm not trying to hit you with a 2 x 4 here.

None of us know exactly what, if anything, what it will take to get her back, (other than the obvious, i.e., being the better choice.)

But we tend to know what does NOT work.

And You telling her in any way, direct or indirectly, what SHE needs work on, will backfire on you big time.

If you cannot see that, OR why that's the case,

then despite the progress you are making with your anxiety problem, there are other issues you are missing.

I hope this clears up my main point. Does this make more sense to you now?

And how's that detachment going? Oh and just so I know, did you two ever plan on having children at some point? Does she want them?

Keep up the good work.