My story, my progress, my hope

[Tinman]

So very little yesterday. Went to watch football game with friends then off on a long bike ride and then some time yesterday evening with other friends. On Friday when I went to Sushi with my W she was not feeling well. So, this morning I called her just to see how she was feeling. She did not answer her phone which she has with her at all times. Not a good sign but... it is what it is. Left her a voice mail and just said hello and wanted to see how she was feeling and hoping she was having a good weekend.

So I am as usual struggling a bit and doubt within me about our marraige is great and what she wants.

I have a situation right now that I would like some advice on. I am in the process of buying a house. It is a house that is big enough for both my W and I. Had hoped it would help pave her way home. I am running into issues witht he loan. I can qualify but together we have a payment on taxes that we are paying on. Right now because we are only seperated they are using my income and both of our debt to qualify me for the loan. I am right at the edge and if they bring in the back tax payment that will put me over and I will loose the house. The crazy thing is that if we were buying it together they would count both our debts and both of our income and we would qualify. If we were divorced they would use just my debt and just my income and I would qualify but because we are seperated they use just my income and both of our debt.

Anyway in our discussion a few days ago she asked me if we should go ahead and file for divorce because no matter what happens going forward that marragie is over and what ever relationship we have together will have to be it's own.

So right now I am thinking maybe the best thing I can do is to go ahead and file divorce papers, try and get the house and let her know that I still want to date her.

I do struggle with this because of the upcoming custody stuff and I just feel like if I file those papers then all hope of us will be gone. Maybe that is what needs to happen to move forward for both of us but I just don't know.

Advice?