Thank you NLW. I don't recommend doing this until you are truly ready and know you aren't doing it to threaten them or have expectations.
Thank LITB for stopping by. Yes, I have come a long way. And I do believe that when he comes to his senses he will commend me for respecting myself this much.
He came to drop off the kids and has been parked outside for the past 30min. This is the hardest thing I've had to do since "acting as if" in the beginning.
Every time we communicate or we're in the room together I need to step out because there is a part of me that just wants to go back to the way things were.
He sent me a text today, I know you don't care to know but I will tell you anyway. we (S4 and H) just saw one of the best movies ever. Finding Nemo.
Next text, After I texted you the last msg I turned to S4 all excited and asked him. "little one, did you like the movie?" S4- "No!! I didn't like that movie. I told you I wanted to see the elephant movie (Born to be Wild) but you didn't listen to me"
I wanted to laugh and respond but then I went from laughing to crying. I just didn't say anything.
H is a people pleaser. He hates this more than your average person. I'm a sucker for the small pulls he does to drag me back in.
I had a thought today. If God put us on this journey so that he would have a better relationship with his kids and I would change my negative behavior, then His job has been successful.
I should thank God for this journey. If it doesn't result in reconciliation, I thank God that is has made me a better mother, daughter, sister, friend and in time a better partner.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
