You are right Labug..maybe I am avoiding issues for now to keep the peace but I look at it differently. I am trying to get in a good place with H at present to show him my changes are permanent. I can feel our R getting stronger. There are definitely things that need to be worked through, it will happen. I'm also working on the best way to approach the issues by learning, reading, getting good solid advice from this board, my DB coach and trusted friends. Am expecting a few hurdles along the way.
I have explained these things to my kids (S18, D19) and they have shown remarkable self-control for young adults. My S25 has now moved out of home. As he was also a dynamic here which was causing us grief, life is less complicated at home as a result.
Overall things are looking up, I just have to keep the changes going.
I promise Labug I will get that boundary set. Thankyou you are so very wise.
