Regarding the double bind, for me, the most important thing to accept is, there is no problem...
What "happens" is, the initiator of the double bind "states a problem" and then imposes the "no-talk"...
The recipient then owns the problem... and therefore becomes the keeper of the double bind... the initiator need do nothing more...
Knowing how to get out of the double bind is the first step...
Knowing how to deny a double bind is the next step...
That is... Understand that, there is no problem...
There never IS a problem... not for one person and not for oneself...
You have received a lot of great support, including that from your repair guy...
Let it go... Before it even begins... let it go...
You talked about surrender in your last thread. It's often spoken of as a "flow with" behaviour with the analogy of a tree that tries to stand up to a wind, and breaks vs the grass that simply bends to the wind and does not break, only to stand tall again when the wind ebbs...
As labug points out above... you are working through these things on your own, and THAT is the most important take away you need to remember, right now...
