Slightly hopeful optimist..

[25yearsmlc]

MC keeps saying that she sees many great things between us but also recognizes that its going to take W to figure out why she is viewing separating as an option instead of fixing the issues together.

She told W over the next few weeks to really take some time and recognize what we have together and think about how it would be without those good things.

I know W loves me I can tell, but she is so disenchanted and living in a fantasy that our M should just work instead of making it work. This is something she is going to have to figure out before we can move forward.


Can you accept the possibility that the only way your w can "figure out", is by experiencing the singles life, and losing what you have?

B/C it often is...and that's why SOME couples remarry...

she may be on a "mission" she believes can only be achieved one way and you MAY have to release her to her task.

My h truly believed his/our happiness (which he always equated as the same, if HE was happy, why wasn't everyone else??)

lay in living in Alaska, which we did for 4 years....neither I nor any of our children felt the same and the idea that a PLACE wquld have such a hold on him was foreign to me, and deeply painful. (A lot of deceit and weird behavior on his end, followed this but isn't relevant right now.)

Anyhow, he seemed to NEED to go. So I released him to his "task".

I chose not to divorce him then and there, but to I GAL big time, & I assumed he would not return and made a life for me and the kids without him...though I had an unspoken internal deadline in my mind about when I'd be DONE...(when my older d finished high school, which was 2 years.

then he got there, woke up and noticed we were not there and it wasn't so great. In fact it sucked...and then he wanted back in.

I could have said NO WAY, to prove some point. But he was sincere and willing to work on things and once upon a time we had a truly great m, and both would have described it that way.

I had to trust that those memories would re-surface and sure enough, IN TIME (and a lot of it!!) they did. And they outweighed the lure of the wild frontier.



[b]
Until then I an trying new thisngs for me and pulling backveven further. This morning I got my first "are you okay" while lying in bed silently. I answered with a cordial yes and then went about getting ready for work and having some breakfast together.

Sounds like a small but useful interchange. Well done.

I feel very alone today.. I will be alone at work for 5 hours today as well. Gonna need to keepbusy....

Patience patience