I was going to respond to your question about the inlaws, etc... instead, after reading the rest of your old thread, I just want to say that you did very well.
One thing to remember about living in the present. It is that the present is NOT the future.
How your H is, right now, is how your H is right now. In the same way that how YOU are, right now, is how you are... right now... and neither of you will "be" the same as you are, right now... in the future...
Eventually, the present... becomes the past... and the future... the "new present"... will simply be what it is... saying that we create our future presumes that we have control over it. We DO create our future, but we also have no control over it. It is simply an outcome of all things from the past.
