Me, too. I have alot of the same triggers you do and the way I handled that was by fixing and controlling. I am very good for it and have a job in which I get points for it but it doesn't work so well in a M. Well it does until the spouse decides that it doesn't.
I had a great IC appt yesterday and walked away with the knowledge that my conflict avoidant H stepped away from decisions and so I stepped in. Over the years it was more and more until I was making most of the decisions. He couldn't/wouldn't say what he wanted or needed so we were pretty much destined to go down this path. This a simplistic viewpoint but you get the picture.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
